Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
