Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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