If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
