using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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