Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
