so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
