Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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