i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
