I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
