Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
