Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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