normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
