So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I love having hate sex.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
