meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
