everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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