...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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