We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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