I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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