so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize