if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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