You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
