I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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