After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
