it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she peed on how many people?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
