She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
