You're so nebulous sometimes
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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