Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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