physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize