I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
