We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
