Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
