She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
