roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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