is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
