I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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