I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
