She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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