He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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