It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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