Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
