I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
