i think i have two assholes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
