Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
