Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
