Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
