She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize