This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
