She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
