she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize