I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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