non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
