When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
