i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
