? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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