Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
