oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
