Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
