what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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