Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
