No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
