Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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