Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
