he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
