Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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