So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
