did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize