it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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