Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
