You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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