the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
